Awkwardly I greet you
Unsure whether to hug or hang back
Wanting to warmly receive,
Yet taking a back seat
As I do. As I am.
That’s my story.
Why do I back away?
We settle in –
The big tea pot
The small cosy room
We smile, breathe,
Look knowingly at each other
We all have stuff ready to go
Needing to spill out
Here’s a little chance to pour
The tea is shared
We start our check-ins.
I listen lovingly
I search inside myself
My turn,
I pour a little out
Measured, careful
Looking for feedback
Hoping I’m saying the right thing
Holding back –
As I do. As I am.
But that’s not my only story
I share more
I worry less about how I’m heard
I can feel the flow
Dredging up my gunk
The stuck bits
The old stories on repeat.
The armor and the buried hurt –
Crusted on.
I feel it melting
Peeling away
Sometimes painfully
Sometimes beautifully
Often both.
Healing those hurt places
Softening the layer I’ve built
Between me and the world.